Showered in Success

As you may already know, I have a phobia of the shower. This was one of the places that my dad abused me when I was little and for a long time now, whenever I get near the shower, or think about having one, I panic. Even baths can be traumatic, see here.

Yesterday evening, hubby asked earlier on if I was interested in attempting a shower. He said we’d do it my way and he only wanted to help me in any way he could. I asked him to stay in the bathroom with me, but to stay fully clothed and be prepared to help me if I needed it. Before I got in the shower, I said over and over inside my head “This is MY bathroom. This is MY shower. You CANNOT hurt me here.” All in all, it wasn’t that bad – as long as my eyes were open. As soon as I closed my eyes to rinse my hair, my imagination came into play and I was sure he would be right there, naked and waiting for me when I opened me eyes. I was almost sick. I began to panic. I opened my eyes, despite my face full of soap. Of course he wasn’t there, but my eyes burned like hell for a while. I asked hubby to promise he would protect me, while I had to keep my eyes closed. Just a silly formality, but it comforted me. Of course he said he would. I felt a bit more comfortable after that. So really, my shower was a success! I have some more to work on, but at least I can have one. I’m sick of baths.

Tonight, or early this morning I should say, after weeks of sweeping my hair from my eyes, I’d finally had enough. I went into the bathroom and cut my hair in front of the mirror. I’ve only done this once before, and it turned out much better and much easier this time. Then I remembered I had some colour pulse semi-permanent hair dye, plum colour. It only took 30 minutes to set, so I did that too. In the process, I had to shower off, which I did all by myself, thank you very much, although it was quite creepy seeing all the purple water everywhere. I’m glad I didn’t get red. ;0) I’m now sporting a funky purple fauxhawk.

So now the sun has risen, not even my dog will get up yet, and I am all alone and wide awake. Not even the birds are singing for it’s raining. Maybe I’ll just stay up and take a nap this afternoon. My parents are coming this evening to help watch Munchkin while hubby goes to pool, so that should be fun. We have lots of catching up to do, even though we’ve been seeing so much of each other recently.

To my family in the Woods…I love you and will see you soon. Send me an e-mail when you get the chance. Maybe we can just chat back and forth about this and that like the good old days…